plunge

I had seen the bog there before

On walks with the dog it was the one place I could justify breaking stride

But the funny thing is it was nothing remarkable

Just loose bits of grime and shrub poking through muck

Yearning for a cleansing bath in another part of the world

One day upon passing the bog, I felt an overwhelming desire

to dig deeper

I wanted to know what lay beneath the bog

and stop judging it for the lifeless decay that gasped in its clutches

I tied the dog to a nearby branch, whispering false words of comfort

Stripping my shirt, trousers and long-johns, I stood stark naked

Atop that golden autumn field

With feet together, acting as if form mattered, I plunged myself

down into the bog

Tearing through the muck that coated my very blood with thick clots

As if moving through a vat of untested putty

My broad strokes and full extension took me down to the depths

Where sunlight and the living had never ventured

But despite my struggles and doubts, I finally let go

The murky molasses massaging deep tissue inside of my being

I inhaled so deeply and opened my eyes 

Just to witness a being who set it all free

A smooth, yet sudden spine jutted out from her torso

An elite breed of teal doused her scales with brilliance

Her eyes housed nothing but unbridled knowledge

And compassion streamed from the curves of her gils

I reached my hand toward this unblinking goddess

A vessel of perfection in the darkest of places

And though naked, I felt it all shed

The weight of my person shucked from within

Sudden peace burrowed its way to my core

The essence of life distilled in my chest

Though I saw a glimmer of light stream from the heavens

I knew that my soul found itself here

Inflatable

And there he wrestled with the wind. 

A lowely saint. 

A forgotten soldier. 

An owner of hearts. 

I'll wither with you in your  eternal struggle. We all stand for something, right?

So I'll sway in the breeze beside you there. On display to prompt the neighbor's jeering. 

Your eyes so lifeless, your glow long faded. Moisture clinging to worn-out trunks. 

The people they come. The people they go. Fabricating importance out of empty pockets. 

But you, you'll remain. Unchanging in stature. A rare glint of hope in an unknowing forest. 

lay me down

woebegone heart how you sprinkle sweet misgivings 

on the sugar plum droplets of despair 

Breathe a sigh of life unblemished

quench my thirst with one fleeting sip

As I traverse the web of lovers past

to a vestigial joy across all plains

the past wraps us all in sheets abandoned

but love doesn't lay with itself for long

no joke

It's weird 

That point when a boy realizes he's a man. 

Strangers eyes searing his flesh

Fooled by his years gone by. 

It's funny

How he feels in that moment. 

Self-aware like never before

Still waiting for his chance to stop hiding and show its face. 

It's crazy

That he, that they, expect so much

Warped by the weight of his own assumptions

Frightened to go and earn it for real

So why

Does he 

move on like a child

Thrilled by things until the thrill's through

So many lessons he's still yet to learn

Wondering if he will open himself

void.

Cozily nestled in their warm dens of solitude
They spin their vicious webs with reckless indifference
Their goals unclear, motives guided by naivete
Obliviously dumping sludge upon her shoulders

Loved ones abandoned, no tethers restricting
In a virtual chasm, slipping farther from reach
They delight in the comfort born of reckless abandon
Intending to hurt, but unaware of the damage inflicted

But fields wither, time can't escape this furnace
And so we shuck the veil, peering into their eyes
Two lonely, waning pools, reflected with guilt
Laid bare, naked atop the scorn of the world

What then will become of their useless aggression?
Whose source knows not its ill destination
Broken as we are but stripped of a net
They drift farther from the reaches of compassion

Hope still cradled in the palm of my hand
Can't wait for the system to be rearranged
Lacking the power to make these men change
We push forward with the art that speaks volumes
Endowing the daring with wings of brilliance

yours

I'd fall if you wanted me -
deep beneath the slipshod crevices
I'd rock this aching soul to rest
Breathe for me.
I'll break myself.
Just turn me into what I crave.
Eat the grapes from my
seasoned blossoms
and bury me out back
beneath the old stone wall
Seep deep into my pores
Dissect this fickle flesh
and know that it is with you
and you alone I'll stay.*

*this poem was written at a urinal while peeing

sure

I can console you in times of distress
Give you my heart, though you ask for less
Let's wet our hands and pave out a road
Later gaze back at the seeds we sewed

If it's funny you want, I can deliver
But will I embrace you as you shiver?
What will I think when I look in your eye
Praying to god your gaze doesn't lie

Tell me your secrets, spill me your guts
I'll promise it stays between only us
Just don't disappear into the dark
Can't bear another return to the start

Yes let's dance, yes let's play
Live so much that we lose our way
Let's you and me go so far
That it's hard just to raise the bar

But all the while I'm drawing near you
In a way I used to fear too much to
I realize this is how it should have been
I just didn't see that way back when

For once it seems natural, like it should
Never realized shit could be this good
Let's build slowly, lead with support
Til nestled souls resemble a fort

her

It's funny how it lifts him
her whispering stream of energy
courses through his veins
nourished fully by thoughts

The profane turns sacred
life breathed back into the mundane
the world in front a swirl of colors
his mind a canvas, with her as his paint

He drinks her in deep, polishing off
the glass marked with lips
The elixir bursts with intoxicating fumes
A lightness of being in an aging body

to others he's just a man with a bounce
he's got a little hop in his step
his furnace burns, clear smoke rising
a smokestack jolting up to the sky

and when a point of conflict
attempts to dissuade
he embraces more fully
a man with clouds for a cushion
can never fall

But as the waters rise
he clings to her like a buoy
Not because he is drowning
but overflowing with her

why does he cling fully?
Well, there is the question
A man fears not what he cannot lose
And can he lose her?
Well surely, of course
all things go in time
But he cannot lose
these thoughts that pervade

coping

A relentless pressure
burrows into his being
a crushing weight onset by a dark truth
a forest inside enveloped in flames
detests its true nature
yet exposes its face

Mom's a junkie
has been since I was six
a secret she hid
like a lost lover's letter
how could I pin the wreath of humanity
on an angel's wings?

Through the years I frolicked
tossed about by naivete
I saw exactly what she
wanted me to see
so now I stand knocking
and hope she'll let me in
to know her swollen heart

For years this house was filled with a warm joy
a loving selflessness bred from within
the chatter and laughter echoed down the halls
and bounced off the photos adorned on the walls

Though from within nestled in blessings
the foundation gave way
a skeletal structure does its part to support
but bare bones without muscle
cry for a mask
and so crumbled the foundation
now a web of despair

Now the whole structure reeks of its slipshod frame
the love within squelched as the support gave way
she needed reinforcement
she needed me to do
more than a son can ever do

Stripped of trinkets, abandoned in spirit
the house comes clean
admitting defeat, it bares its soul
exposes its deprivation
and revisits regret
The best days behind it
it becomes the earth that once housed it
forgotten in spirit by all but the one.

simple

an upturned lip lifts an unwell heart

like a string heaving the mass of the heavens

as the ends curl and the eyes glimmer

the sun burns through a thick shadow

a radiant beam, a spark in the brush

scowls outnumber but cannot outweigh

infectious as ever, we all want the love

but someone must always ignite the flame

a brow so furrowed per chance wants a break

alleviate the burden it so often bears

age is just numbers, why are you counting?

show your true colors, oh guarded one

look to another and summon your charm

it doesn't take much to make someone's day

a crease in the cheeks, a wiggle of ears

one tiny smile can tear through the rest

from 30,000 feet

a bellow that clings to bones and tissue
emerges from this crouching beast
who all at once, with ceaseless splendor
asserts dominion o'er the clan

sinewed flesh and muscles bursting
his stance the rock of their existence
he carries nations upon his back
a duty realized in the womb

with musky breath and tattered chest hair
his eyes caught not a wink of sleep
from his looks a warrior still
but inside the virus rages on

he knows his days are numbered now
but weren't they always? from the start?
doubt buried, he clenches the hilt
a king's job is never done

post title

poetic drizzle
splattered upon some distant breast
I find no shelter under shields of indifference
save for the harbor-scouring ghosts
that light my way
too real to touch
reality an excuse
to erect a fence around one's property

our own boundaries
hold us back

to flourish seems misguided
in the wake of startled ease
where walls and windows
wear their grimace

strapped to a dolly
the load is carried
but with the weight of a handicap

he who speaks with soul exuding
gets lost down trails throughly trampled
and sheds his flesh
where he makes his home
a tiny ripple in a pond of flames

usurp

bustling furies grace the pavement
blazing silence long removed
a pixy strives for faces turning
upon a chorus of angels' limbs

strictly singing songs abandoned
they know not now the ruler's might
hearts unleashed, souls exploding
freedom surely in body and mind

their oblivious cadence ropes in peers
who caper quick to feast as well
all hearts pouring, juices flowing
strike the marrow of life's long age

the king unveils his fiery hatred
summons troops from distant lands
angels transfixed, the song that guides them
carries them through eternal ordeal

his legions fall, his minions turning
only flesh can feel the flame
but dig deeper, listen, feel it in you
the song embedded on life's wings

won't you?

There's something dancing atop my head
Not sure what but it has spritely legs
Yes and a little hat.
This dancing thing has a hat
It wears a smile too
And it beckons.
It wants you to join him.
Atop my head.
He says there's room for another.
That you could both dance
and worry no more
atop my head
He says it's merry.
Won't you join him?

you must understand

You must understand
we are not all cut from the same cloth
some of us have wings
that unless we are able to spread
will envelop us whole

For our spirits and passions are mighty
but come at a price
for happiness is only found when
we follow that which we love
fully

What if the lingering possibility of following it
is met head on
can one become jaded?
can I become tired of that which makes me live?
makes my heart beat faster?
breathes meaning into all I touch?
a boundless supply of livelihood that nourishes
every step along the way

No longer eschewed for things productive
can you imagine
the liberation of following the dream
just to see how it all unfolds
Knowing that 30 years from now
I won't give a flying shit
about most of this
Knowing that the only thing that matters
is that I saw it before me
and I was courageous enough to pursue it
though the odds would scare the rational away
I took a chance
and that's what made it all different.

where passion is followed
a rose is in bloom forever
a wellspring of hope comforts

When the work becomes play
and one finishes the day realizing
they did exactly what they wanted to
that they are doing exactly what they intended
and they are doing it because they BELIEVE in it
and want to share it with the whole world
because they want everyone to feel this good
because they want to remind people they CAN feel this good
because they feel they can make a difference
there is something special
there is something unique
there is life lived to the fullest

strip

I willingly slump in this small pool of sadness

Naked and chilled, yet confronting the truth

The garments I shed now a heap in the distance

My back caved in, the shell is removed

Stripped of the weight that gave it all meaning

Man at his essence a woebegone drifter

The water will share in the ceaseless compassion

Closing in on its object while maintaining form

Nothing to cling to, no rope for the docking

I lower my hand to break this pained glass

The water displaced, my limb so intrusive

an unwelcomed guest can't keep himself out

Cupping the fingers and lowering elbow

I lift liquid hurt that seeps through the cracks

And pour what's left on my upturned face

the trickle reminds that loss never settles