lost it (kundera knows)

I spent all my time with you

But I can't remember your face

Stared into your eyes more 

Than any other eyes

Yet I can't remember your face 

How I kissed it so 

Caressed its lines 

Brushed the hair away 

So as to never forget 

But here I am now 

And I can't recall your face 

Is it possible 

I knew you better than your face 

Is it possible 

I knew you so well 

Your face didn't matter

Your face a filter into you

A filter I removed 

To see your self

And I forgot your face 

For once I saw your self 

Your face no longer mattered

I removed your face 

To see you

And tossed your face aside. 

And though I search 

I can't find your face 

I can't picture you 

Can't recall the lines 

Why'd I push the hair aside?

Why'd I gaze into those eyes?

When your face meant nothing 

Though it's all they have 

To know you by

And it's all they'll ever know

Your face meant nothing to me. 

It still means nothing to me 

Because I didn't care for your face
I wanted more. 

#strugglefest

everyone i know
is having a hard time
not one of my friends, lovers, parents
has it together

a collective funk
a widespread depression
plagues us each
we are islands among islands

oh how i want to lead the charge!
oh how my battle cry should unite!
oh how i should raise the weak
and lead with strength and passion!

but i too am in the lost camp
i too a weary wanderer in misdirection
someone else must pick us up
someone else can lead this charge.

bottled up

i wake up - a bottle of prepackaged emptiness
it doesn't take much to fill it
just a little something
to remind the container
what it's here for